The Sweet Taste of Bitterness

Have you ever wonder what God tastes like? The Isrealites believe the taste of honey is the taste of God. Not that God tastes like honey but that to taste Him is sweet. I think somewhere along the way I had forgotten this.

One night at the small group we attend we were having worship. I was singing a song that I had heard many many times. The familiarity had lost it's meaning. I was disconnected from the message of the music and my heart was not worshiping the Lord. The Holy Spirit brought this to my attention. "Lord" I asked, "what has happened to me? What has happened to my relationship with you?" I thought to myself, "there was a time in my walk with You when it didn't matter what song I sang or how many times I sang it because I got to be with you during worship. I used to be so excited to sing to you no matter how "familiar" the song."

Then He brought to my mind a verse I had heard and memorized about 7 years ago.....

"He who is full loathes honey.
But, to he who is hungry
even what is bitter tastes sweet."
-Prov. 27:7

I had become full. Full of pride and of thinking that I needed some other teaching that was "deeper" or "more intellectual". Or, some music that was newer with "fresh" lyrics. I am ridiculous....I am prideful. God revealed to me that I had come to loathe the sweet taste of Him. I wouldn't even open my mouth to "eat" because my pride had me thinking I was full.

I was convicted. I prayed and the Lord brought another verse, "He who humbles himself will be exalted." Humble yourself, abby....that's what the Lord was saying to me. The Lord revealed to me all the ways that I had allowed myself to foolishly think I could be or was ever full of Him. Then, suddenly, things began to taste sweet again.

I had forgotten the joy of obedience, the beautiful gift of surrender, and the peace from humility. The Lord, since He reminded me of this verse six weeks ago, has been so near to me. Really, He has always been this near to me...I just never realized that I was so hungry. He has renewed my heart and spirit and soul. My heart is overwhelmed by His love and His pursuit of me. He did not correct me with condemnation but with a gentle reminder spoken from His Love for me which I do not deserve nor did anything to obtain. He gives freely.

Now, everything tastes sweet again...even that which is "bitter".