Saturday, February 21, 2009

Ookii desu ne?!?!

I am at my limit. For the past few months my belly has grown as the wonderful, beautiful boy inside me is growing and this growth has not gone unnoticed. Now, I wish I could say that people have given words of enthusiasm and kindness to accompany my belly as it increases in size, but that has just not been the case. For the past two months I have heard AT LEAST 4-5 times a day how large/big/huge my belly is. I am tired of it. So, I am shamelessly using my blog to write about this frustration. I sometimes try to avoid using my blog as a place for venting and save that for my personal journal, but not today. I have had enough of it. I can only take so much. I smile on the outside and say, "yeah, it is." but inside I want to say, "SHUT UP!" Should I just chalk this lack of noble thought to pregnancy hormone? Maybe, but then again, maybe I need to learn to ask people, in some wonderfully witty manner that teaches people a lesson in holding their tongue whilst also remaining respectful, to not say such things. Anyone got any ideas?

The camel's back broke today. I came home and cried on my husband's shoulder. Just wishing for the comments to stop and instead to be replaced by joyful phrases that communicate excitement. There have been a small number of people who have loved on me through encouraging words while here in Japan but sadly it's not enough to counteract the much larger number of the frequency of certain adjectives that should never be said to a pregnant woman. Word to the wise....only tell a pregnant woman how beautiful she is. Say nothing about her belly, small or large. Tell her you are excited for her. Share in her joy and quit acting like we have or should have the "right" to hear your opinion.

6 comments:

kuliejellogg said...

No witty comments for other people, but I think these are good for all of us preggers out there:

A ship under sail and a big-bellied woman,
Are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.
~Benjamin Franklin


You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

Unknown said...

The truth is you are making the perfect home for our son and looking great doing so! Trust the doctor's words that you and baby boy are not too big and not too small (you're doing great) And Trust the Lord... he sees in you a beautiful woman, ALWAYS!
Love you!
Jason

Jen said...

Sweet Abs, I am so sorry you had your feelings hurt.

The Lord has portioned just the right amount of room for your sweet little boy to grow and develop in a safe and nurturing environment beneath the steady and swift beat of your heart. Even now, the Lord is forming you to be the perfect vessel to carry that beautiful boy.

I know its hard, but cling to the truth that you know is true. You are a beautiful woman...carrying the life of your son!!

that girl, alina said...

oh honey. im so sorry... im sure that is so exhausting! the comments made in Japan are so... well... unthoughtful. im sorry. you are BEAUTIFUL. i wish i could be with you two now...
i love you.

Mike Wagner said...

It comes with the territory. I still get the whole how big are you comment all the time and "How tall are you? 2 meters?"

I know it is not the same, but it is just how they function. The nail that sticks out.

Next time your on the train and someone won't give up their seat you could point at your belly and say, おおきです! Maybe then they might get the hint and let you sit down.

Diana Latham said...

Abby: You can say with the beauty and eloquence of a Geisha:

If your strength is small, don't carry heavy burdens. If your words are worthless, don't give advice.

;)

You know we think you look wonderful. In fact, you look like one of those moms who just has a baby bump, no more, no less. Weight should be the least of your concerns. You are growing a baby inside you!!! What a miracle...let's talk about that.